the tick tock of the clock is significantly louder this week.
When I leave monday for Colorado, I will only return to St. Louis for a week before leaving for good. Commence craziness.
"How are you feeling about leaving?" a friend asks..."depends on the moment" I answer.
...at the bike shop today as the man very kindly tells me I should consider a TRAILER instead of a front basket, I leave with his very thoughtful and earnest recommendations scrawled on a piece of paper and without the basket that I came for, because, well, I just couldn't really handle another thing to explain. Do you ever have those seasons? Where you really just want to be able to smile and nod and go with the flow, but your circumstances don't really allow for that?...
...at the computer when I can't really remember how to spell the word "color"...does it have a "u"? two "l"s? an "e" maybe? I seriously tried typing it about 4 times before I settled on no u, one l, and no e...ay yi yi...
...at the bank when I accomplish 6 important tasks in about 20 minutes (wuh hoo!!!)...chatting with Rashad, the guy at the bank who knows me by name...and my mom...and dad...and well, the whole family to be exact...realizing I'm kissing such familiarity goodbye...in full awareness that the efficiency will not be waiting for me on the other end of my plane rides, hoping that at least there might be some familiarity some day...
...at the store when my heart sinks because the man behind the counter tells me he just sold the last of the thing I came for and that I'd need to go somewhere else to find it...nooooooooo!...not really looking for things to ADD to my to-do list at this point...
...when I think about not being able to have my brother walk in the door and greet me with his ever cheery smile at the end of the day...
OR
...looking at pictures of what will be my room in, well, 2 months' time, when I finally arrive in Mundri, South Sudan....eeek! yay!
...reading blogs of teammates old and new, stateside and Africa-side, finding my heart falling in sync with their experiences...
...when I pick up brand spankin' new US dollar bills at the bank that will one day be exchanged for South Sudanese Pounds!!!...
...as I start to pack for language acquisition training in Colorado, where I will hopefully stock up on techniques and confidence for the intimidating task of learning a language without a class or a book...hopeful...
and those were all today...