Boxes

I like boxes. They contain things. I can put things in them, close them up and put a label on it and remember what’s inside without having to actually look at the things. But they also help define things. Does this shirt go in the summer or winter box? Winter. Good, then this is not a shirt I should wear in hot weather, and/or is not made for wearing in hot weather. Categories, definitions, expectations, lines...boxes are how I roll.

Thing is, people don’t go very well into boxes.

But it sure doesn’t stop me from trying to put them there. And funny thing is, most people don’t like trying to be put in there. Now that I stop to think about it, I can’t understand why ;)

Coming to a new place here in South Sudan has made me face my boxing compulsion head on. It’s nothing new, but when you move to new places, find yourself in new communities, doing new things, it’s a bit like a new mirror...you see yourself from a slightly different perspective, you notice new things, for better and for worse ;)

Turns out I have boxes for everyone I meet. I have a box that is especially fashioned for people who I’m in relationship with, my friends and family - anyone beyond an acquaintance...it’s a box that, it turns out, defines what friendship looks like, what community looks like, what loving me looks like...turns out I have expectations for these things. Fairly defined expectations. I had no idea.

How did I come to this realization, you might wonder? Well, see, as it turns out, I guess not everyone has the same expectations. Imagine that.

Turns out people don’t fit in boxes.

Turns out people relate to each other differently. Love, respect, value, look differently to different people...people demonstrate them in different ways. It’s like language - they speak a language I don’t understand...there aren’t words involved exactly but we obviously don’t share a common relational lingua franca.

I’ll be 33 this month. You would think I’d have figured this out by now.

And no, I’m not talking about what’s-his-face’s 5 Love Languages...

Turns out people are complicated. Turns out complicated is what makes us people. Turns out complicated is beautiful. Turns out complicated is frustrating. Turns out complicated is intricate. Turns out complicated is awe-some (in the non- “far out dude” use of the word). Turns out complicated is the way God intended. Turns out I’m complicated.

So, this is a phase of the journey I didn’t expect, but has been unveiled for my consideration and perplexing thoughtfulness. Ever learning. Hopefully ever growing.