perspective

What's Heidi up to these days?  How's everything going in South Sudan?  Why isn't she writing more?  Maybe nothing's going on and there's nothing to write about...

Things in my brain feel frenetic...externally my life is not at all that way, I'm not at all running from place to place with no time to think...but what's going on inside does not at all match what's going on outside...it makes sense, but it doesn't obviously match.  There's a lot going on up there...still watching a lot, listening a lot, trying to process what I'm taking in, still the new girl.  It has been hard for me to sit and write in this season...hard to synthesize it all into thoughts...hard to turn the thoughts into words (written or verbal!)...hard to talk to people on the phone, hard to talk with people here in person, hard to write...so be patient, if you would.  Know that there's fodder for about 16 blog posts bouncing around in my head...not being able to synthesize things into thoughts makes me feel very discombobulated...one of these days I'll be able to think clearly...until then - have patience :)

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Rumor:  South Sudanese/Sudanese refugees fleeing to Kenya

Reality: - Kakuma Refugee camp (Kenya) approximate population: 94,000 (most from Sudan and South Sudan)

          estimated daily new refugee registration: 100

         maximum capacity: 100,000

         estimated date for reaching capacity: 2-3 months 

             

              - UN reports planning to open new camp: Kalobeyey

        location: 25 km from Kakuma

        maximum capcity: 80,000

              -  estimated ADDITIONAL refugee population already settled in camps in S. Sudan and Ethiopia: 144,000

             -  distance from South Kordofan/Blue Nile (conflict hot spots) to Kakuma = at least 500miles (as the crow flies 

                VERY sketchily estimated from google maps).

When I think about 250,000 people, I think of upwards of 6 baseball stadiums at maximum capacity...I think of 3/4 of the population of St. Louis City or the vast majority of the City of Pittsburgh... 

When I think about walking at least 500 miles, I think of having to walk across Pennsylvania and Ohio combined + some...and based on my road experiences here in rural africa I feel like maybe even doubling the “as the crow flies” distance might be a more reasonable estimation of walking distance....which would mean a walk longer than the drive from St. Louis to Philadelphia (from the Mississippi River to the east coast!!!!).

How’s that for perspective?

I know it’s hard to know how to read about 250,000 people (many from Sudan and South Sudan, also from Somalia and Ethiopia) who have fled from violence/famine in their home places to massive camps in other countries and know how it might affect someone you know living in another place in that country/region.  I know that when you hear words like “impending war” and “UN peacekeepers” and “refugee camps” there very well may be flashes of scenes from movies like Blood Diamond or threatening images from news broadcasts you’ve seen that come to mind.

First you need to know that my life, and the world I see everyday, is nothing like either of those.  I live several days of travel from any of the “hot” spots along the border between S. Sudan and her neighbor to the north.

Second, in my mind that shouldn’t change your concern for the events of this conflict you’ve read about, or heard radio spots about, as you sit or move around town in the perceived safety and comfort of the US of A or wherever you find yourself in the world.

I know nothing of the lives of the people in Blue Nile or South Kordofan.  I know nothing of what it would be like to WALK from the border of Sudan/S. Sudan to Kenya in fear for my life and the lives of my family.  When I try to imagine, I picture scenes from movies...dusty or muddy roads filled with lines of people walking slowly with their heads down for as far as you can see...isn’t it amazing how Hollywood has affected so much of our perception of the world?...well, at least my perception, I suppose I should speak for myself...but in my experience thus far, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, the UN outposts I’ve seen, the remnants of such situations, feel nothing like the movies...while some of the stories no doubt mimic the plot lines of movies and the UN tents are still white with big black block letters on them, and while I do think there's a place for hollywood to make movies about world events, there’s something missing...something I can’t quite put my finger on.  It just feels different.  It feels real.  

When you can smell the white tarpauline tents as you walk past them, leftover from past  peace initiatives, when you can see each wrinkle on the face of a woman telling her story of exile, when a friend asks her about whether she liked the experience of flying when she talks of the plane she and a few hundred others were flown back home on after the war, when you see the corners of a building beside otherwise disheveled heaps of stones and bricks overgrown with vines where a school used to be...it feels different.  It feels real.  

And then I head back to my desk and there’s a stack of Arabic flashcards waiting for me, and a computer screen full of emails to respond to, and dinner to prepare, and the reality escapes me yet again.  Even here in Mundri, the reality escapes us...escapes me.  Sometimes I’m shocked of the news I hear about what’s going on in other parts of this very country...

You may know that the politics are far from simple, neither Sudan nor South Sudan is without blame, the conflict runs DEEP...you should also know my numbers are VERY rough estimates from lots of different sources and I am far from an authority on international political conflicts or anything remotely related (don't go forwarding this around like some authority on the two Sudans' conflict) but I hope they help you think a bit differently about what's going on here.

Maybe the images of baseball stadiums full of people, distances you are familiar with, populations you have seen for yourself, will help it feel more real to you and to me.  Maybe if it feels more real our hearts will be compelled to pray, or pray more often, or think about praying.