The Real World

Well, I'm back.  Re-entry hasn't yet been as daunting as I expected.  God has been gracious and has given me words for some of the things I've been learning/thinking about/challenged by for the last 3 weeks.  Words help, they help a lot.  It has been really helpful to talk about it actually, the little I've been able to, it has helped me process more concretely what's swimming around in my head.

I also have been challenged by God about my second to last post ("Sugar Honey Iced Tea"). It was not very loving in places, and it was written in the second wave of the heat of the moment and I thought that was better than the first wave, but really I should have probably waited until like the 7th wave or so to write about it (the next day or two afterwards).  (This is all such a learning experience for me! ) So, I want to extend my apologies to those of my MTI peeps who read it and felt misrepresented or sinned against by my anger/frustration made public.  I was not and am not free of fault in the scenario and am open to any further conversation about the events that day that might help mend any open wounds.

The following is a passage from the Message that we spent a while alone with God in sometime in week 2 I think.  It was really powerful for me in God communicating his desire for me to be with Him, and His desire to be with me.  This idea has seemed cheesy and not very real for me in the past, but somehow He got through to me somehow in these verses:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you'll recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."  - Matt. 11: 28-30

 "With me, Heidi, with me."  I don't know if any of you have had people say or imply when they're talking to you that "it's okay that you don't have a husband because you have Jesus."  Gag me with a spoon.  But there's some truth in it (shhhh, don't tell anyone though because I might just hit someone who actually said that to me anytime soon.)  Jesus was with me (really, for real!) as I walked in and out of patients' rooms in the hospital, He will be with me as I board the plane whenever I get to leave, He will be standing next to me when I go through customs/immigration in Uganda when the officers grin at my blonde self and rub their fingers together like you do when you want money from someone, He will walk with me/laugh with me/cry with me in everything I do in Bundibugyo, and here in St. Louis as I wait to go.