verse after verse...

of BIG TIME conviction...Isaiah 30 was the chapter, I was the culprit.  Caught red handed by God in my stubborn, selfish and more stubborn ways.  I wanna go to Bundibugyo now!  Yesterday in fact, but now would be just fine.  Now, consider this, blond haired blue eyed city nurse Heidi going to rural Africa in the middle of an Ebola epidemic with no language skills, no epidemic management training with only the two physicians in the middle of the storm to show me the ropes...that's likely a recipe for disaster, mostly for the two physicians but also likely for me.  It seems clear to everyone (including me in my sane moments) that it's best that I wait to go.  Wait for what or until when, I'm not sure, but waiting seems good right now.  But I don't wanna!!!!  Anyways, this was the madness of Tuesday and Wednesday for me.  Yesterday brought the Isaiah 30 smack down!  Just you read on:

"Ah, stubborn children," declares the Lord, "who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt without asking my direction...And now, go, write it before them on a tablet, and inscribe it in a book,that it may be for the time to come as a witness forever.  For they are a rebellious people, lying children, children unwilling to hear the instruction of the Lord; who say to the seers, "Do not see" and to the prophets, "do not prophesy to us what is right; speak to us smooth things, prophesy illusions, leave the way, turn aside from the path, let us hear no more about the Holy One of Israel."  Therefore thus says the Holy One of Israel, "Because you despise this word and trust in oppression and perverseness and rely on them, therefore this iniquity shall be to you like a breach in a high wall, bulging out, and about to collapse, whose breaking comes suddenly, in an instant; and its breaking is like that of a potter's vessel that is smashed so ruthlessly that among its fragments not a shard is found with which to take fire from the hearth, or to dip up water out of the cistern."  For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength."  But you were unwilling, and you said, "No!...Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him..." - Isaiah 30 select verses (ESV)

The verses after those I have included go on and on with encouragement about waiting...maybe I'll include them another day.  But for now, the smack down.  It was soooooo good for me to read this.  It totally exposed my sin in really concrete ways.  I just kinda went "ouch...oooh...yep that's me...crap...really now...shoot...owweee..." and then a big "aahhhhhhhh" (hear a long sigh) at the end with the "blessed are all those who wait for him" and the verses following.  And that's where I've been turning more and more in the last 2 days.  God has been showing me hidden blessings in having to wait.  Now this doesn't mean I'm golden from here on out, but He has been at work in this stubborn heart of mine.  Wuh-hoo!!!!!