19 March 2008

Notes on Death and Grief cont.

So here are a few more things I took note of in watching how the Ugandans handled death and grief.

- Instead of stepping back/away upon hearing of death as I literally did, the Ugandans step forward/towards the loved ones left behind. They all literally step towards the grieving, they walk right up to the house, into the room where the dead person’s body is lying and greet/sit with the family/friends.
- It doesn’t seem to matter how well you know the one who died or the family members, everybody comes to greet/sit.
- The sitting lasts all night, when I came back to the Health Center the next morning there were logs outside of his house, still smoldering, around which everyone had gathered all night.
- Most people were not crying. Jennifer said this was a very unusual setting because Stewarts biological mother lives in Jinja where Bigui is from, so she was not present when/after he died. Bigui’s second wife, who is from here and lives here, was present and was crying softly in the corner as Bigui spoke of his son and as Ammon sniffled with his head down. Evidently the biological mother practically lays on top of the body and wails, and then everyone else wails/cries along with her, so because she was not there it was really pretty quiet except for what Bigui was saying.
-there was going to be some sort of embalming involving parafin (kerosene) and syringes but I didn't see what they did really. But a couple of the nurses stepped in to do that
-people bring money to help with burial costs and transport, etc.
-men and women were sitting inside with the body, evidently usually it's just women and the men sit outside.
-

2 comments:

Phvern said...

Thank you for sharing this Heidi. It brings tears to my eyse as well.

Anonymous said...

Heidi,
I shared this story with your friends at SLCH-we are all very sad for you and your friends there. Everone sends their love, so consider this a big 8-east hug. Stay strong, you are such a blessing to us all. Thanks for sharing your incredible experience with us.
tall beth